Archeology II, the follow up – All hope abandon ye who enter here

Archeology II – Part 2…

The main topic of this nostalgia trip is paranoia. Most of the following outrage has to do with the small online-registration tool in Windows 95 and MSN.

Harmless stuff, but, as usual, common sense was unable to stop the HUGE conspiracy theory that was created on the newsgroup.

All posts from 1995




>CNN yesterday…. Micro$ucks users of the network package in Windows 95

>will have their systems automatically audited by Micro$ucks.  This to to

>develop a profile of what software resides on the users computers.

>Micro$ucks states they will not sell the information to other companies.

>Big Brother is not the government, it is Micro$hit.

>Linux rules….

Paranoia II:


The guys at work, windoze weenies, told me there already is a patch for

keeping microshaft from peeking into your machine.  Look around, maybe you to

can find it.  If i put Win95 on my machine, it will be stand alone or just

connected to another machine in the house.  Thats it!  No dial out for me.

Paranoia III:


I’m not adverse to nuking Redmond either. :) As I see it, the back

of the software behemouth must be broken.  Otherwise, OS like Linux

will eventually become illegal.

Paranoia IV:


> Microsoft officials confirm that beta versions of Windows 95 include a

> small viral routine called Registration Wizard.  It interrogates every

> system on a network gathering intelligence on what software is being run

> on which machine.  It then creates a complete listing of both Microsoft’s

> and competitors’ products by machine, which it reports to Microsoft when

> customers sign up for Microsoft’s Network Services, due for launch later

> this year.

Paranoia V:


>  if you answer “no” to the registration question, no scanning

>occurs. no directory structure or other local data is transfered. period.

>my concern is that one day this might not be the case. call me paranoid.

>i also truly believe that m/s has left back-door passwords in the

>m/s net shipped with win95, wfw, and nt. again, probably just paranoia.

>  but…if this is the case, all m/s would need to do is send a command

>and instantly retrieve all information from all machines connected my

>the m/s net.

Well, as it turned out, it was all big pile of bullshit.
There should be watchdogs, no doubt, but not this kind. I guess none of them knows about the boy who cried wolf.


Part 3: “I thought this was a Linux newsgroup?”

Some more sane posters are wondering…

All posts form 1995:

Complaint I:


Why are we talking about this?  I thought this was a Linux group.

: These threads have gone on long enough.  Hell, look at some of the

: groups being cross-posted.  Maybe is a more appropriate

: name.  Everybody is posting their shit here.  WHY!!!?

Complaint II:


Where’s the Linux Advocacy?

I stopped into your little parlor to learn something about Linux.  All

I read here is a lot of bitching and whining about Microsoft.

Where’s the beef? Or is Linux the next (nextstep)- a nice irrelevant OS.

Complaint III:


I think that there has been enough M$ bashing to last us all for a while.

Maybe I was wrong, but I thought that this newsgroup was to be used to

discuss Linux, not everything-but!  Truthfully, I would much rather have a

dialog about the future of Linux than skim through hundreds of posts all

titled “Re: Lets do something about Microsoft” that all basically say the same

things OVER and OVER again.  Let me know if I was wrong about this folder.

If it’s sole purpose is to bicker over Micro$oft, let me know and I’ll


They talk more about Microsoft in a Linux newsgroup because for many in the movement it’s more about the hate than Linux itself. You know, BSD is for people who love UNIX, Linux is for..

And some assorted posts:

Instead like, I don’t know, improving Linux maybe? This poster found something more effective to harm MS:


Do something about MS shitware — Pirate them!

Is there a safe way of distributing 100,000,000 copies of MS programs

without being caught? I guess not. But whenever you get a chance,

pirate them from your friends! You will be doing good. A priest told

me that if you pirate $10,000 worth of MS programs you can go to






Maybe because Linux had in 1995 a marketshare of.. what was it? 0.01%?

And again, a prediction!:


It appears that even Microsoft is “jumping”

the Win 95 ship.  Recent press releases to the business community

from senior a Microsoft executive talk about NT as being their

“real” operating systems of the future.

Talk like this from Microsoft a mere 7 days after the release of

Win 95 can only be interpreted as a total abandonment of Win 95

by Microosft.


Don’t forget: If you’re a freetard, never ever apply to shows like Phenomenon and the like!

Linux is for nazis:


The real reason I like UNIX oeprating systems is because they are

“rugged” and “masculine”. All that cutsie, user-friendly nonsense

is for wimps: intellectualy and physically inept creatures whose

fingers are too clumsy to avoid hitting five wrong keys before finding

the right one; people who must always be comfortable and who avoid

manual work and especially learning of any sort, and are obsessed

with pretty appearances.

I wasn’t made to be a follower. I despise authority figures.

I can’t stand fools and weaklings.

The weak shall perish! The most amusing part is that the author probably lived in his parents basement at that time and urged his mother not to turn off his computer, so that he can break the uptime record.

Windows 95 is a failure (again..):


See, it’s like this.  DOS and Windows, do indeed have more, newer and

: fancier games than Linux.  According to Bill Gates, “Windows 95 will be

: the premier gaming system…”

: Therefore, Windows 95 is a toy OS, for playing games.  :)

.. and yet it can’t compete with a Sony PlayStation using far cheaper.

hardware. Hehe!

It’s true, no one used Win95 at work.

Well, that’s it for now. The COLA newsgroup is a treasure full of FUD, paranoia, death threats, flames and just plain wrongness. And it proves one thing:

THERE IS NO “LINUX YOUTH”. The community has always sucked. It’s not a new phenomenon. All these posts are from 1995 – when Linux was just four years old and only a very small subset of the population was online. And the community was as bad as now.


One response to “Archeology II, the follow up – All hope abandon ye who enter here

  1. Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch’entrate.

    Note that ogni (all) modifies hope, not those who hope.

    Hope is eternal. Linux is biennial.

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